Caged

A leash against my neck

A rope pulling taut

Darkness descends

Clouds my vision

 

The mask is on

 

Turning my face away

Fighting back those tears

Traitorous feelings

Tearing apart my inside

 

Helplessness

Worthlessness

Hopelessness

 

Depression

Is upon me

 

I swallow the lump

I plaster a smile

On to my face

 

I turn to my audience

Open up my eyes

And pretend

 

Everything is just fine

 

I don’t mind the control

The lack of it

Over my own life

 

I don’t mind the frustration

Filling me up

Pushing me down

 

I don’t mind the uselessness

I feel every morning

Every noon and night

 

I pretend

 

They pretend to close their eyes

They pretend to turn away

 

But I can see the pity

The judgement

The look of one outside the cage

Gazing upon the inside

 

I pretend

I can’t see.

 

Blind

Deaf

Mute

 

Holding everything back

The key turns

The lock clicks

The door is closed

 

And I’m inside

 

A glimpse of the blue sky

Through a chink in the closed window

Throat closing up inside

Walls closing in outside

 

I gasp for breath

I’m choking!

 

I tug at the window

I’m choking!

 

I cry, I scream

I’m choking!

 

I curl up in the corner

I’m choking…

 

I’m choking…

 

The rope tightens

Darkness descends

The mask is on

 

And I’m choking.

 

*END*

 

Image Credit: Caged by Crazy Kiwii (Deviant art)

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