A leash against my neck

A rope pulling taut

Darkness descends

Clouds my vision


The mask is on


Turning my face away

Fighting back those tears

Traitorous feelings

Tearing apart my inside







Is upon me


I swallow the lump

I plaster a smile

On to my face


I turn to my audience

Open up my eyes

And pretend


Everything is just fine


I don’t mind the control

The lack of it

Over my own life


I don’t mind the frustration

Filling me up

Pushing me down


I don’t mind the uselessness

I feel every morning

Every noon and night


I pretend


They pretend to close their eyes

They pretend to turn away


But I can see the pity

The judgement

The look of one outside the cage

Gazing upon the inside


I pretend

I can’t see.






Holding everything back

The key turns

The lock clicks

The door is closed


And I’m inside


A glimpse of the blue sky

Through a chink in the closed window

Throat closing up inside

Walls closing in outside


I gasp for breath

I’m choking!


I tug at the window

I’m choking!


I cry, I scream

I’m choking!


I curl up in the corner

I’m choking…


I’m choking…


The rope tightens

Darkness descends

The mask is on


And I’m choking.




Image Credit: Caged by Crazy Kiwii (Deviant art)


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