12:28 PM, Hunched Over a Textbook

Life is so short. Who knows if I’ll be alive tomorrow? Maybe on the way home today, I’ll finally run out of my lucky breaks and bite the bullet. But, my point is…there’s so much to do! So much that is possible just because you’re alive and you’re moving and you’re aware. That is the best gift I’ve gotten to date or ever will.

I want to go out, see the world, prove to myself that I deserve every single cell of every single gram of tissue in my body.

A queer sort of restlessness fills me and I can feel the itch beginning at the bottom of my gut. I need to be out there, looking at things in a new way, doing stuff I haven’t done yet and a lot of other wishes.

But, here I am. Hunched over a textbook now, a steering wheel later; plodding my way through monotony and traffic, instead of getting out there, living my life to the fullest.

A single barricade is standing in my way right now and pushing it down seems like the hardest thing I’ve ever set out to do. But, I’ll do it. I’ll have to do it. Because, beyond that barricade lies my life. The rest of my life with its new challenges, new choices and new mistakes to be made.

Push, my dear, push! It’ll go down and you’ll be out there. Soon enough.
So, I tell myself every morning.



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