“Apparently, I’m among the ranks of women whose expressions are seen as too strong, too aggressive, isolating, and anti-men. Unattractive, even.”
I am a feminist.
I vote for considering all women based on their merit rather than their karyotype. I vote for equal standing in society and I veto reservation. I vote for Sunny Leone and her independence of choice and I veto unnecessary objectification of women. I vote for the right to choose what I want to do with my life and I veto an asshole with XY chromosomes who believes it to be his birth right to judge me for them.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate men. My understanding of feminism is that of equal standards and equal opportunities.
I just want to tell you, world, that we, women, do not need your reservations to get ahead. After all, aren’t all reservations just a way of way of saying here’s what we are willing to give you and be content with it? Because, the last time somebody wasn’t content and tried to take what they want and not just what’s given, we got a Durgabhai Deshmukh then and a Kiran Bedi now.
The list of my favorite ladies also includes Ms. Sunny Leone. I admire the fact that she comes to a country as judgemental as ours and dares to be unashamed of her career choices and at the same time, her advent was the last nail in the coffin of our indubitable hypocrisy when it comes to the matters of sex.
Tell me if this makes sense- Honey Singh singing “Leke chalu ride pe phir chhat khol ke” while showing a girl licking an ice cream oh so suggestively, is acceptable; but, a girl making a video to say do not judge me for smoking and drinking, is unacceptable. In this country, it makes perfect sense.
Living in this world, during this time, I could not even bring myself to be outraged at that rapist’s comments, you know which one I mean. I have heard politicians, the elected representatives of the people, male and female, echo the same sentiments over the years. All I could feel was a sense of gratefulness that at least this animal was behind bars.
Emma Watson, whose quote forms the first line of this piece, gave a very moving speech at the UN a while ago and she invited people to join the HeForShe campaign. Her speech made a lot of sense in that hall full of renowned and august audience. But, in the streets of our country, what it spawned was a chain of Whatsapp messages and Facebook statuses that said women are the responsibility of men.
Thank you very much, but, no thanks.
This pisses me off, because, this is just the same old mentality but in a newer packaging.
So, for all those people who believe men are better than women for no other reason except that they are men, here’s what I want to say:
We don’t want you to feel responsible for us. We want you to respect us.
We don’t want you to accompany us on a dark night. We want you not to try to molest us.
We don’t want you to support us when we are drunk. We want to feel safe enough to get drunk.
But, if at the end of it all, you do not understand what I’ve been trying to say, then don’t respect us, don’t take our responsibility; just leave us the hell alone.