Teaspoon of "LOVE"

“You have the emotional range of a teaspoon!”- I get that a lot these days.

You see, we are working on a presentation for the laws of attraction, including a survey called- Love and Relationships survey (how original, I must say :/). The questions in the survey are of multiple choices or rate them in order or simple yes or no kind. But people, being the irritating species they are, feel its so necessary to add their comments in the space provided. So, we get to see stuff like- “In my mind, body and soul, I’m incomplete without her” or “My love is the best part of my relationship”- I mean, SAPPY! NAUSEATINGLY SAPPY!

And so, I’m told: “you have the emotional range of a teaspoon!” I must say, I beg to differ. I DON’T have the emotional range of a teaspoon (I don’t know how JKR came up with that one, but its really caught on), I just have the sentimentality range of a toothpick. I mean I feel happy- as in happy-happy and I feel sad too like when I fail in an exam or when I’m hungry but broke. So, my emotions are just fine!
The problem is: I don’t get the funda of love. Its sooo illogical!

Let me explain: one guy and one girl- they meet each other and talk and spend time together. This satisfies the basic human need for company and acceptance. After a while, they become physically intimate and cuddling rules the day- absolutely hormonal. They continue in this vein till they procreate or till society allows them to procreate or till they find a more interesting partner. Now, tell me: where does “Love” enter in this picture? At all????

Ridiculous-er is the concept of love at first sight. How can you just “love” someone from the moment you first sighted them? Just HOW??? At first sight, the only things that register in a normal human brain would be the color of the skin, the shape of the face, the hairstyle and the build of the body. So, are you telling me you want to spend at least a few years of your life staring at some color and shape that caught your attention in the passing???!!! Heights of illogical!!

I’m not saying there’s nothing like love. I love my family and friends- but that is born out of the gratefulness and obligation that I feel towards them and in every case that fact of love took years to establish itself. I don’t think I loved my best friends at first sight- I thought J had popping eyes and S looked blind. In fact, it is a general human tendency to pick out faults in a person when you see them for the first time. So how many more normal human tendencies will you go against to fall in love at first sight???

Heard of the movie “Guzaarish”? A lot of hype- but flopped at the box office. Well, “Love” is just one humungous box office hit. It completely deserves the award in the longest-running and most caught-on categories. It is nothing but a regular hyped-up supposed-to-be-cool word- like a gift from the Archies’ or Valentine’s Day or your school day when it is being conducted in your smaller-than-the-smallest-theatre-sized auditorium.

Look, I know I sound like someone who’s got a personal problem with the L-word. But, let me tell you, honest to heavens, that’s not it.

“It” is just that I’m extremely jobless and extremely lazy. So, my favorite hobby is to just lie in my extremely cozy bed and think about all and sundry (i.e. when my eyes aren’t glazed over watching Friends or reading Anne of Green gables). Since “Love” is one thing that has extremely high frequency and recurrence rate in life, I did spend a good number of hours figuring it into this twisted theory of mine (haha! I know that’s what you are thinking right now! Gotcha!). That is also exactly why I’m sitting up at half past midnight typing this out. And that is exactly why I love every one of you who’s reading it and shaking your head. Yankee Doodle went to town riding on his pony. He stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni! Don’t you just “LOVE” Yankee Doodle?! 😀

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