Before I begin, before you start,
Let me clear up one little part.
The words on this paper- they aren’t mine,
I just put them in order- line after line.
Its about a friend that I speak now;
She’s the kind that you can love.
Cheerful she was with a smile that’s easy;
She didn’t talk much, but that’s just ‘coz she was a bit too lazy;
She supported her friends and helped them through
Any trouble, any pain, anything that made them blue;
She smiled a lot and said she never cries;
Cry- she can’t- not even if she tries.
Then one morning she came and she looked so different-
Her smile seemed stretched and her eyes over bright.
She did talk and even joked around;
But in spaces, she’d look lost; in her thoughts she’d be bound.
She looked sad- we all thought so;
What should be done, we didn’t know though.
Finally I cornered her and what’s wrong, I asked her.
She just smiled and shook her head and said nothing’s the matter.
But then, I looked close and isn’t that a tear
Glistening in your eye, my dear?
That single tear rolled down her cheek
Finding the outlet that it chose to seek;
She brushed it off fiercely and turned away,
Leave me alone, she muttered, you should just go away!
That’s when I reminded her I’m her friend
And that means I should know what’s wrong at her end.
I heard her breathe and breathe hard;
I felt the barrier going down yard by yard.
I want to write, she finally said, I NEED to write,
But the words refuse to come; my paper remains blankly bright.
Tears swam in those eyes again
As I encircled her in my arms and tried to ease the pain.
Don’t worry, I said, the words are just up to their tricks;
You know they will come to you when the time ticks.
I feel like my best friend abandoned me
Just when I needed her most to hold me.
But you are not alone, we are all here
And you know the words will be back, you have nothing to fear.
I’m confused, she says, I don’t know
What I’m doing and what I should do;
It’s like I’m stuck in a limbo-
Forward I can’t go and backward, I don’t want to go;
I’m tired of yesterday and I’m afraid of what tomorrow will bring;
I’ve no energy or I’m just too lazy to face any problem or just anything;
I don’t feel good enough and that is a weird feeling;
I don’t feel talented enough and that is too scary for my dealing;
I used to be second to none and now I’m just second-
I don’t like that at all- not at all, my friend!
It’s like I’ve lost my passion- I have no passion!
I don’t know how I can live in that bare and lost fashion!
I don’t know what to say any more;
I feel too lost to myself and locked out of every door…
I didn’t know what to say to all this.
All I could do was pray and wish
That everything turns alright
And her morning again starts bright.
I want to see the smile back on her face;
I want to feel her confidence back in its place.
You are good, you are better in fact,
I assured her, than most people in many an act.
It was strange to see her cry;
It felt strange to wipe her tears dry.
She showed a side she didn’t want to show;
She feels hurt too, I came to know.
Never again did she refer to this episode;
Never did this become one of our anecdotes.
She showed up the next day- all happy and smiles
And then I knew- the mask was back in its style.